Speaking to a distressed friend

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Convincing someone that you are willing to help

Your friend may really want help and know they need your help but for a variety of reasons resist your offer, such as they:

  • don’t want to intrude on you for support,
  • don’t want to waste your time,
  • don’t want to be burdensome,
  • feel they should be able to deal with this on their own,
  • feel embarrassed about the situation,
  • feel humiliation, guilt or shame,
  • fear consequences of the issue being known,
  • fear your reaction to the issue.

Reassuring them you are there to help them.

For example, you could say “I really want to help you and it isn’t a burden for me to do this. So don’t worry about any concerns you have for me helping.” In summary there are three messages:

    1. I want to help
    2. It isn’t a burden
    3. I’m OK about doing this